Infinity

I am incapable of conceiving infinity, and yet I do not accept finity.

Simone de Beauvoir

 

Egyptian symbol
for 1 million or "many"

For as long as she's been talking, Clementine, five, has been asking about numbers. For years, she has asked me half a dozen times a day, every day, to tell her what time it is. I answer, knowing that she can tell time at this point and is only asking for confirmation. She let the fact that she could tell time  slip out last summer when she was taking her Kindergarten placement tests. We also discovered that she was reading well enough to answer multi-step math problems. This was only slightly surprising.

Newton's 

Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica

Clementine has always been all about math. She gets it from her daddy. Dan is an engineer and thinks in the same terms, sees the world the same way.

solid figures by ppdigital,
by permission of MorgueFile^

This way of viewing the world is foreign to me. I am not all about the math and really have to think about it sometimes. It helps to tie math to something concrete. For me, geometry works better if I'm calculating something real, a wall to be painted, for example.How much fabric to buy to make a dress.Real stuff.

finger symbols for numbers, 

from the 16th Century

Because their thinking is foreign, I find it fascinating to watch Clementine make all these connections that don't always seem obvious at first. Dan, too. I love to listen to him explain something new. I love to observe the way these two think about the world.

the Ancient Egyptian symbol for 100,000, 

a frog or tadpole

Clementine learned to skip count by 2s recently, and the next day, she taught herself to count by 3s and 4s. 5s were easy, because they repeat a pattern of 5 & 0, but she quickly taught herself 6s and 7s, too. Clementine asked about 9s, and we taught her the rule (the "ones" number goes down by one and the "tens" number goes up up by one as you count up). The next day, she knew her 8's, figuring how to take away 2 instead of the "take away 1" from the 9 rule. On Monday, she asked about 11s, and was counting them within minutes.

Six 6's by alvimann, 
by permission of MorgueFile^

Clementine asks several times a day about what will happen if you add two specific numbers. Or if you subtract them. Or what would happen if you added them to negative numbers (which she calls "minus numbers", and has understood since she was tiny). Or what would happen if one number was a minus number, and one number was a positive number.And so on. She thinks about numbers and sees patterns all day every day.

 peeling numbers by chelle,
by permission of MorgueFile^

And Clemetine constantly asks about infinity. She's fascinated by the concept, and is always asking different questions about it, trying to find a way to push the idea of an endless number into a space she can handle. We've explained that it isn't a real number, but a concept, an idea about numbers. She loves that part. She wants to be reassured that you can
"always add one more".

 train tracks by DarrenHester,

by permission of MorgueFile^

Clementine seems to worry about infinity a bit sometimes. One day, I showed her the symbol for the concept. I"See, it goes around and around. It never stops." She "got" it and loved it.

This is infinity:

lemniscate

In math and physics, the figure-8 infinity symbol on its side is called a lemniscate. Like a Mobius Strip, it never ends.

I showed her this, from my own childhood:






There are other, similar lemniscates in math: the lemniscate of Bernoulli,^ the lemniscate of Gerono^, and who can forget the lemniscate of Booth^?

Pythagoras

Recently, we went out and grabbed a bite after a busy day. We were given a number, an 8 on a red acrylic disk so that our food could be brought to our table.

 Einstein at the blackboard

Clementine, put the number in the holder, declaring that, "Our number isn't 8, it's infinity!"

Not an 8!

Infinity!

Watching her thoughts unfold is like trying to talk to someone with whom you don't share a common language. You know that they probably make sense somewhere, but not necessarily to you.

I love her so much, for so many things, including letting me see what is important and what makes sense in her world.

Namaste

deena

The First Snow of Autumn

We woke up Saturday to cold weather and snow. Clementine was almost impossible to get moving. She complained about the cold and didn't want to get out from under the covers on our bed after I finished putting her hair up.

After ballet, we ran a few errands. Even after the snow stopped down here, we could see a storm up on Pikes Peak. Here are a few photos from around town...

From the parking lot on the way to the tire store. Dan needed new tires and I'd promised myself that we'd carve out time to get them by the end of the week. There is a snow storm on top of the mountain, and the snow is blowing from the top toward the north.

Snow storm with blowing storm at the top of Pikes Peak. It was dry, sunny and cold down here as we watched the storm. After 11 years here, I still find all of this simply fascinating and love to watch it unfold. 

What looks like the top of the mountain in the previous picture is really the top of the storm, as seen here. 

Later in the day, the sun is beginning to set. Taken at the end of Academy Blvd, in the parking lot of the grocery store. I think that we probably have the best view in the world from this grocery store.

Pikes Peak as the sun sets, with Academy Blvd. in view.

America The Beautiful was written after Katherine Bates in 1893. Bates was an English professor at Wellesley College, and was inspired after a trip to the top of Pikes Peak. She was spending the summer locally, teaching at Colorado College. You can certainly see where the line about purple mountain majesties came from, can't you?

I've lived all over the United States, and the sunsets out west, and particularly over the Rockies, stand out for their beauty and breathtaking color.

The last few moments of daylight... time for us to go home, have dinner, and happily snuggle together against the cold autumn night.

Namasté 

deena

Amused...

Just when I think I have a handle on the simplest things, Clementine cheerfully shows me that I'm not even close. She always manages to think of things I couldn't have predicted in a million years and I end up like this: 

Earlier today, we were reviewing her math lesson...

Me: So, remember talking about symmetry? How some shapes have symmetry, like hearts, squares, and circles? You can divide symmetrical shapes to get two identical parts. The parts will always be the same size and shape.

Things in nature have symmetry, like leaves and flowers on many plants.
(shows picture)

Me: Nature seems to like symmetry. Many insects have symmetry. They are the same on both sides. They are balanced so that they can fly. If they were unbalanced, heavier on one side, it would be hard to fly, wouldn't it?
(shows picture)

from here^, used with permission

Clementine: Yes. Ladybugs are the same on both sides, too.
Me: Yes! You're right. Many things we make have symmetry, like buildings and spoons. This is the Taj Mahal, in India. Look at the symmetry. Both sides are the same.
(shows picture of the Taj Mahal, and a spoon)

 from here, used with permission^

Me: People have a lot of symmetry. We have two eyes, one on each side. Two ears, one on each side. And our paired features are usually the same size, are in the same place, and are usually the same color. We usually have two eyes the same color and shape, right? We have two feet. Animals have two pairs of feet.

Clementine: Yes. except some people and some cats have different colored eyes. Like Dustbunny.

Background: Dustbunny was our cat, who passed away a few years ago. She had one blue eye and one golden eye. She was deaf and had a neurological malformation called CH - Cerebellar Hypoplasia^, which made her stagger and stumble). CH happens when the mother cat gets sick when she is carrying kittens. Distemper is a common cause.

Me: Right. Exactly. Most people and most animals have at least some symmetry. People and four-legged animals have an invisible middle line and mirrored features on either side of that line. That line is called the line of symmetry^. Your line of symmetry runs from the top of your head, through the middle of your nose, through your belly button, and between your feet. One side looks like the other in reverse.

Can you show me the line of symmetry here? Some of these figures have it, some don't. Ask me if you have questions. Okay?

Clementine: Okay. (draw draw draw)

Clementine's lines of symmetry

Me: Awesome! You got them all! Now, some figures have more than one line of symmetry. Squares, for example. You can go top to bottom, or side to side and get the same shapes which will be the same size. Can you find all of the lines of symmetry here? There may be more than just two.

Clementine: Okay. (draw draw draw, quickly finding all four lines of symmetry).

Clementine's four lines of symmetry in a square

Me: Awesome! Yay! There is a picture that people think of when they think of symmetry. It's called the Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci. Leonardo was was thinking about a book when he drew it, which is how the picture gets its name. The guy who wrote the book was Vitruvius, who lived in Ancient Rome.He wrote a book about using the measurements and symmetry in the human body to build buildings. Vitruvius is who the Vitruvian Man is named for.
(shows picture of Vitruvian Man)

Vitruvian Man, by Leonardo da Vinci

Clementine: (looks briefly at Leonardo's drawing): But he's not symmetrical, Mommy. One of his eyes is different from the other.

Me: (looking closely) I think he's drawn with a shadow that...

Clementine: He's like Dustbunny. Was he deaf? Did he wobble when he walked? Did his Mommy have bad tempers like Dustbunny's mommy? Do you think he was really moody?

Me: o.0

At this point, the questions are piling up and I have no answers. This is me, in cat form:

Huh?

After a few minutes, we get everything straightened out and we finish the review and move on.

• It's just a shadow, he does not have different eyes (at least, that's what I'm going with).
• I'm sure his Mommy was fine. Please don't worry. 
• He probably did not wobble because he looks really strong and healthy. 
• It's distemper, not bad temper. People don't get it (at least I hope not). Probably ought to look it up. She'll hold me to the answer.
• He is supposed to represent the perfect human, so he probably was not deaf.  

What a smarty pants cat might look like.
Image from an antique postcard

So, I survived another day with my little smarty pants and will live to be befuddled by her another day. 

And Clementine knows a lot about symmetrical shapes and cats with CH.

Not bad for a Monday.

Namasté

deena

Petey

This has been the worst week, and I am so glad it is over and done with. I spent today writing emails and making phone calls after discovering that my daughter's school materials (which had come earlier in the week) had arrived without of couple of the key components which I will need Monday morning.

Monday morning.

As in: the office is closed until Monday. I have been kicking myself all day long.

I blame myself because I should have checked as soon as the material arrived, but I didn't because...

My husband had a pretty substantial (but hopefully very temporary) change at work, and I did my very best to be supportive. I think I was pretty successful, but I probably should have done more to stay on track in other areas. I might have made it, too, but for one thing...

The unthinkable happened, which pretty much blew the whole rest of the week for me.

My husband noticed that our kitty, Petey, was acting weird. She was actually acting super-friendly and cuddly. Petey is normally shy and retiring, afraid of everything loud and busy, especially Clementine, so it really was odd. Right after he mentioned her to me, I picked her up and snuggled with her, and immediately noticed a strange scent. Her breath smelled strangely sour - a smell I was sadly familiar with. It was galvanizing.

Petey

I lost a cat, Winnie, years ago to kidney failure, and though I didn't know it then, soon found out that the scent was a byproduct of the illness. I smelled it as soon as I picked Winnie up that morning. She was acting odd, and I asked my (now) ex-husband to take her to the vet. He did, and soon the vet called to tell me she was in kidney failure, that there was nothing to be done.

I decided to have her put down. I can't remember the details, but I couldn't go into town that day, and never saw Winnie again.

I'd had Winnie since before we had children.
Since before we lived in the country.
Since before we lived in the state, or even the state before that.
Several houses, and two children and three states away. So much crammed into so little time.

We'd been through so much and she was so loving and she died without me. She was only five. I've never forgotten it.

Our vet was in town, quite a ways from home, near my (then) husband's office, and because there was nothing the vet could do for Winnie, my (then) husband went and held her while she was put to sleep, a kindness I will never forget and can never repay. I couldn't be there, and I couldn't make her wait until I could.

So, when I picked up Petey and smelled that smell, I wanted so badly to be wrong. As the evening progressed, I was less and less able to convince myself. Petey slept on our bed, cuddled with us, and seemed so frail and weak. Petey was not old and had not been sick, and the smell... I just knew.

Dan and I petting Petey together

Dan called early the next morning, got an 8:30 appointment, and I took Petey in. Our vet saw her and gently examined her, and took blood. He told me that he was going to keep her and would call me with the results, but something in his voice told me what I didn't want to hear. I cried all the way home.

The vet called within the hour and told me the news - she was in kidney failure. Her numbers were too high to accurately measure. There was nothing he could do. He would try if I wanted him to, but it probably wouldn't be a permanent fix and... I don't know what else he said, but I told him I'd talk to Dan and call back.

Dan and I decided to have her put down. There is no way to justify making an animal suffer if there is no way for them to get better.

Dan called our vet. I laid down on the bed and cried.

We went over a bit later, and we all held her and petted her while she was eased out of her pain.

Petey's beautiful golden-green eyes

She died before the vet had finished the injection.

It was painless and quiet.

We weren't sure, right before, if Clementine should see the process. Our vet said that he thought Clementine would be okay, but that she could leave if she wanted, one of us would go with her. That's what we told her.

But Clementine asked to stay, and we are all glad she did because right before the injection, Petey raised up and nuzzled Clementine, wanting to be petted. In the moments before she died, she snuggled with Clementine, something she almost never did. Clementine has always been too active and full of energy for shy little Petey.

We all cried. I am so grateful that Clementine's last moments with Petey were good. Grateful to Petey for one last gift. Thankful and grateful to God or whomever arranges such things in the Universe for giving our small child the priceless gift of acceptance and love from our cherished pet.

Thursday, we all went together at lunchtime and picked up Petey's ashes. I've never had a pet cremated before, but I badly needed to have her back, though I'm still not sure why.

Me and Petey

Today we got a note about Petey's passing from the vet. It was moving and heartfelt. We will always cherish it.

So.

I should have looked through the material, and I have a good excuse as to why I didn't. But that doesn't really matter and now I'm kicking myself.

Having written this, though, I think I'll stop kicking myself. I think I'd rather spend my time thinking of other things, doing other things.

My cat is in a tasteful gray box on the mantle. I wish she wasn't, but I thank her for her love and companionship, and am glad to have the reminder.

My husband is home in bed, tired, after a good, productive, but slightly hectic week at work. I'm glad he's here. I hope the "slightly hectic" is ever-so temporary. I will be joining him upstairs soon. 

My sweet daughter is asleep in her bed. She asks questions about Petey several times a day. She thinks Petey is in Heaven with my Dad, and my cat Winnie, and her sister's cat, and the dog my dad had when he was a boy.

Clementine never met my Dad, his dog, Winnie, or her sister's cat. Petey gave her a connection to all those people and pets. All those souls and personalities. She knows that Petey is with them all, and is closer to them as a result.

Thank you, sweet Petey.

Thank you so much for everything.

We will all miss you and we will not ever forget you.

Ballet, Baseball, and Soup

We've had a busy week.

Preparing for a business trip. The last ballet rehearsal for the season. The first baseball of the season. And Dan has been on call. We're always thankful for on-call weeks, because they encourage us to stay close to home, which tends to result in more relaxed time together as a family. A good thing, as Martha Stewart says.

Still, we were out and about a bit.

The first baseball practice of the season was on Tuesday. Clementine's team was assigned and she met her coach for the first time. Dan helped coach last year, and probably will again. He has as much fun as she does.

If you've never seen really little kids playing baseball, you're missing out. Children scatter everywhere when the ball is hit, and they run all over the field for no reason at all. Last year, two kids skipped off to chase butterflies while their team was in the field. Lots of fun.

first practice of the season

Domo-Kun proudly wearing this year's team colors

We had our last ballet rehearsal this week. Clementine's recital is this weekend (she's a dancing flower, the program is Little Red Riding Hood).

It is every bit as cute and sweet as you might think.

 The last practice of the year

We spent a late afternoon outside after work one day, one planting flowers and tomatoes, and re-potting some indoor plants.

We have a few tiny tomatoes already!



what we're hoping for
from here^

Clementine has been worried over a barrel of marigold seeds we planted last year. We went outside every week toward the end of summer, deadheading the flowers and scratching in the dirt to plant the seeds.

She fussed over them all winter and spring, and grew terribly concerned that they wouldn't come up this year. It took us a moment, but we were finally able to find the little leaflets of the new plants this week. I was happy because I'd all but promised that they would be back.

Marigolds
from here^

And Clementine was happy because our "sleeping" seeds from last year decided to return.

We took time to play outside in the water with Clementine, and to enjoy the sun and heat after what seemed like an endless winter and a cold spring. Welcome back, summer.

Dennis enjoying the sun

A few months back, I managed to take the tip of my finger off on a mandoline cutter, cutting carrots for the dehydrator. This is what a mandoline cutter may look like:

(okay, probably not)

This is what a mandoline cutter actually looks like:

the real deal

Mandoline cutters make short work of veggies, and are capable of making very thin cuts without mangling the produce. Perfect for dehydrators and recipes that require thin slivers. Thin slivers means that the blades have to be very sharp. And they are. There are warnings all over the thing, and all over the box it comes in, telling you that it has really sharp blades.

Apparently, even though I read the warnings, I didn't take it to heart the first time. Bye-bye fingertip. Been good to know ya.

Ignore obvious warnings
at your own peril

This time was different. I managed to make it through several pounds of onions in a few minutes with all of my remaining fingers intact. The difference? I used the &^%%$&-ing guard, just like the directions said to do.

The resulting French onion soup was delicious. We had it in bowls with gluten-free bread and melted cheese one night, and as an accompaniment to turkey and mushroom sandwiches the next.

In case anyone wonders:

1. Yes, your fingertip will grow back, but it will be  incredibly sensitive compared to other, older hand parts. It almost hurts to touch anything with any sort of pressure.
2. When it grows back, it mat be flat at the tip, even if the other index finger is more rounded. 
3. I don't know if my fingerprint is different or not. The whorls and ridges  look the same to me. 
4. I have no idea how long the sensitivity lasts or if the sensitivity ever ends. It is good to have this sort of sensation for working in clay though, so I'm good with it either way.
5. Mandolines are devices which are used in the kitchen to cut food.
   Mandolins are a type of lute.
   
   

   

   Woman in a Toque with a Mandolin
   Jean-Baptiste Camille Corot (1796-1875

A Simple Woman...

Every month, I remind myself to participate in the thought provoking Simple Woman's Daybook^. It's a series of questions to answer on your blog or journal. Reading the answers other women have given written always gives me a sense of who they are and what is important to them.

But every month, I don't. I don't know why I don't, because the questions are great and I do want to. Sometimes I start, but I never finish. I'm odd like that.

So this month, I forced myself. I' m so happy that I did. It didn't hurt a bit, and I like my answers, which is unusual, and I normally don't like much of anything I write.

Here they are...

Outside my window...
a ruggedly handsome man. From here, he looks to be grilling carmelized onion-chicken burgers.

I am thinking...
about a conversation I had with a friend a few days ago about (other) friends who believe in improbable, often wacky conspiracy-theories. I once read that people who believe such things are usually brighter than normal, which may be what allows them to discern and latch onto what seem to be patterns and coincidences (but which aren't really there). Once ensnared, confirmation bias carries them over the it's-a-conspiracy goal-line.

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said: "one can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

(Through the Looking Glass, Chapter 5)

So, I wonder why I haven't ever fallen for anything like this.

Maybe I'm not as smart as I think I am.

Maybe we don't always know when we have a blip on the ol' logic detector and I have fallen for something unawares. This is my least faorite possible scenario. 

Maybe I've just been very lucky (so far).

“In fact, one thing that I have noticed . . . is that all of these conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. I think you'll find the facts also work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid.”

Brian E. Moore

Maybe there is no good reason at all.

More things in politics happen by accident or exhaustion than happen by conspiracy.
Jeff Greenfield

::shrugs::

Also, I am thinking...
about having grilled caramelized onion-chicken burgers.

With a ruggedly handsome man.

I am thankful for...
ruggedly handsome men who love to cook, having my dog home again (he was at doggie daycare for the last week while Dan was gone), my family, my friends, my home, and being able to enumerate simple pleasures.

I am blessed.
 
We are blessed.

From the learning rooms...
I have promised myself that I will re-learn how to cable knit if it kills me. Hoping it doesn't, but I'm prepared for the worst.

From the kitchen...
grilled caramelized onion-chicken burgers with mango-Serrano salsa, fresh corn on the cob, melon, and s'mores (with GF graham crackers) for dessert.

I am wearing...
a black cotton knit shirt, a tan skirt with blue and yellow flowers, and the silver bracelet I always wear. It was a gift from Dan, and I cherish it.

I am creating...
the finishing touches on a long languishing, soon-to-be-felted knit handbag. I started it last year. It's in autumn-y colors, which made sense at the time, because it was early autumn. I hope to have it done before the middle of the month so that I can start one in summer colors. I hope to have it finished while we're still in summer, but recognize that the blues and greens will probably go well in winter, when it is most likely to actually be finished. Also, I'm working on a a handbag made from vintage bark cloth. It's handbag week here, I guess.

I am going...
to be quilting later this week. I finally have enough vintage bedsheets in the right colors to start (and finish) a quilt in oranges, yellows, pinks, and reds.

I am reading...
Living Crafts magazine, which came in the mail today, and which I so look forward to. The editors and staff are able to capture and showcase the work of so many talented individuals, and the writing perfectly captures the mood in the photos (which are always gorgeous). Also, Babbitt, by Sinclair Lewis. It's one of my favorite books, and I read it from time to time to gain clarity.

I am hoping...
to get my nose pierced this week. It used to be, then it grew over. My face looks empty without it. Go figure.

I am hearing...
that Sarah Palin is considering running for President and has asked Donald Trump to consider running, too. They could run together and call it the You're Fire/I Quit ticket.

I have very little respect for Donald Trump and very little for anyone who would publicly bolster him by lending him any sort of respectability. So, phooey.

Around the house...
I have some laundry to do, and a schedule to make before I go to bed tonight. I want to re-do the spare room downstairs to use as a craft room/study, and want it to be as complete as possible before the first of August when I hope to put new shelving on the larges expanse of wall. So, it's time to schedule all that. I love schedules. And lists. Make them all the time. Sometimes, I even follow them.

Also, I'll be making laundry detergent tomorrow. I make it from scratch. It's easy and quick to make, it works at least as well as the store bought kind, and a batch lasts about a year and a half. And it smells better.

The best part: it costs about seven dollars for the entire batch. Seven dollars for a year-and-a-half.

The cheapest detergent at the grocery store does about 32 loads for $7.99. I was using one of the ones which was perfume and dye-free, so it cost more because they left stuff out.

32 loads for $7.99 comes to about .25 per load. We wash at least 1.5 loads a day, times 365 days a year. That comes to 547.5 loads a year, 821.25 loads in a year and a half. Minimum. $205.31 dollars every 18 months.

Versus $7.00.

And the neat thing is that without artificial perfumes, I can add natural essential oils. I added Frankincense and Myrrh (the real things) the last time. I already had it to scent some soap, so the carrier oils (what the teensy scented bits float around in) are safe for the skin and non-irritating.

And it smells wonderful. I will post photos and my recipe later this week.

One of my favorite things...
sitting outside in the summer as the sun sets over Pikes Peak, grilling on the back deck, eating on the patio table outside with family and/or friends. We did that tonight for the first time this year. It was lovely.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
working on our bedroom this weekend. I'd like to sort through some stuff for donation, to make it easier to repaint this summer, which is my goal. I should probably share my goal with Dan. Hi, Honey! I want to paint our room!

Here is picture I am sharing...
actually three.

First, one of our three beautiful daughters, 

on Dan's family's farm

Second, one of Clementine petting a horse on the farm. 

She loves horses more than almost everything else, 

so you can only imagine how wonderful it was 

for her to be able to pet 

and snuggle with a real horse.

Third, this is a brick path on the farm that Dan, 

his cousin, and grandfather (who has since passed) 

built about 30 years ago. 

And those are Clementine's feet on the very same path. 

So precious.