Home again, home again

Three days post-surgery, and everything is finally getting back to normal, or at least what passes for normal around here. 

vintage image
It's Owl Right & thankfully, so am I

We got home Friday a bit after lunchtime, and it wasn't long before I was drowsing off, physically needing to lay down and sleep. I was (and am) in more pain than I expected, but I'm trying not to dwell on it, because it can only get better from this point on, right? 

The surgery went well. One thing I learned is that I probably don't hide fear as well as I'd like to think. The surgical nurse, Olga, could apparently tell that I was terrified, because at one point, just as I was about to be put under (I was watching the anesthesiologist putting the first drug in my IV line), she came up to me, grasped my hand, and told me that everything would be ok.

And it was ok. I came out of anesthesia quickly, and wasn't sick at all afterwards. I was a little disoriented, but it passed quickly. The procedure was an obvious immediate success, but they don't consider it a true success until 3 months post-surgery, when they'll better be able to tell if the procedure "took" long term or not.

So, it's a date. February 3rd, 2011, I'm looking at you.

used with permission, by clarita, at Morguefile^

I would have been able to come home sooner than I did, but they had trouble getting an acceptable blood oxygen reading. It wasn't until they tested my ear that they got the (normal) 97% measurement that they wanted.

used with permission, from Morguefile^

My fingers never show the proper levels of blood oxygen due to the fact that I have mild primary Reynaud's phenomenon^ (pops to a National Institutes of Health page). In other words, I have poor circulation in my fingers and toes, and always have. Secondary Reynaud's (which I totally do not have) is caused by other factors, often serious diseases - it's not a diagnosis anyone wants.

To be honest, I always thought that everyone had the same experience (cold extremities indoors, actual pain in the cold) and that it was entirely normal. At least  until I was pregnant in 2005 with Clementine. My doctor, who was trying to get a blood oxygen reading at the time, grabbed my hands, held them palm up, gestured toward the splotchy, pale skin, then said, "Has anyone ever told you why your hands are cold and blue? Because you have Reynaud's".She seemed quite pleased to be the one to tell me.

So, I have Reynaud's. Really, though, the only time it comes up is when I'm out playing in the snow or when I need to give a blood oxygen level, which is almost never. By the way: you can try to tell the nurses that they won't be able to get a blood oxygen reading from your fingers, but about half the time, they'll take it as a personal challenge. At least it isn't painful, though. Nothing like the nurses who are entirely sure that they'll be the one to tame my rolling, collapsing veins with half-a-dozen jabs in the arm rather than taking it out of the back of my hand as I request. In the past I've come close to fainting before they were willing to give up. Now I just insist on the back of my hand.

As mentioned above, I'm still in quite a bit of pain, but determined to get some work done this week. I've had it up to here with my own kvetching, and feel the need to be productive. I'm tired of being sick. I'm sick of being tired. So, I'm planning on working on Christmas gifts, putting up the Christmas tree with Dan and Clementine, and doing all of the other things one is supposed to do in December.

vintage image

Speaking of Clementine: She handled Mommy being in surgery both better and worse than I would have expected. 

Better in the sense that she's been all over me, giving me hugs and kisses, which is very sweet. She wanted to be reassured that everything was ok, and she spent a lot of the weekend right next to me, checking on me. She asked a lot of questions, all of which we answered, all of which seemed to satisfy her sense of curiosity. She knows that I'm ok and at this point, she's back to her sweet self.

But worse in the sense that Clementine decided on Saturday to give herself a haircut. She seems to like to change things up whenever she feels stress, and told me quite plainly that she wanted shorter hair, which is why she cut it. We didn't scold her - there was no point. I simply told her that we'd have to go to the salon and get it evened up, which we did, and she's now the proud owner of a darling pixie cut.  

Until later...

vintage image

Namaste

Sunday morning (early)

I hope you are enjoying the blessings of Winter and Advent on this beautiful Sunday morning. Here are a few of my favorite quotes about my favorite season.

Our hearts grow tender
with childhood memories
and love of kindred,
and we are better
throughout the year
for having,
in spirit,
become a child again
at Christmas time.
~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but we hope it, we know it. ~  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The moment we indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed, there is no winter and no night; all tragedies, all ennui, vanish, - all duties even.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson  

O Winter! bar thine adamantine doors: The north is thine; there hast thou build thy dark, Deep-founded habitation. Shake not thy roofs, Nor bend thy pillars with thine iron car.
~ William Blake 

 used with permission, by ren, at Morguefile^

The frost performs its secret ministry, 
Unhelped by any wind.
~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge 

used with permission, by missyredboots, at Morguefile^

On a lone winter evening, when the frost Has wrought a silence.

~ John Keats

used with permission, by slone, at Morguefile^

Namaste

Friday Morning (early)

 vintage image

I am writing this Thursday evening just before bed, scheduling it to auto-post Friday morning at 8:15. If everything goes as planned, I'll be in the operating room as this posts, in for some long-overdue surgery.

used with permission, by imelenchon at Morguefile^

If everything goes well (and there is no reason to think that it won't), we'll be home Friday afternoon sometime, where I hope to sleep pain-free for the first time in pretty much forever.

 Yay, sleep.

 used with permission, by alvimann at Morguefile^

I'm going to ask Dan to send an update to Facebook from my phone as soon as he hears anything, and I'll post here as soon as I possibly can. 

The whole thing makes me very nervous, even though I logically know that things will be fine ,and that in a day or two, I'll feel lots better.

Still, wish me luck, and if you are so inclined, I'd deeply appreciate being remembered in your prayers.

used with permission, by hamstersphere at Morguefile^

Thank you.

Namasté

I Am Thankful For...

I am thankful for

... being in a beautiful world with so many wonderful people

... darling, beautiful, gifted, funny, accomplished talented daughters

... a brilliant, handsome, funny talented loving husband

... amazing, loving, smart, funny family and friends 

... my sweet kitty who cuddles and sleeps with me at night 

... my big goofy dog, so protective and loyal

... my health and the good health of my beloved family

... my warm, cozy, (often messy) home

... my community and town, full of good people

... all of the natural wonders surrounding us, living in Colorado

... living in the United States, with our blessings and freedoms

... the men and women who selflessly sacrifice to maintain those freedoms

 Thanksgiving Dinner 2010 consisted of: 

Roast Turkey with garlic-peppered skin

Homemade Montina Bread Stuffing with raisins and pecans (Montina is a type of wild grass used in gluten-free cooking)

Homemade Sourdough Rolls (gluten-free)

Glazed Sweet Potatoes with toasted coconut, cardamom, and pecans

Cranberry Relish

with  

Pumpkin Custard seasoned with Indian spices for dessert

Namaste

Thank you

A heartfelt thank you to veterans everywhere.
Thank you for bravely protecting us and our great nation.
Thank you for your sacrifices. 
Thank you for everything you've done to preserve our freedoms.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.

In Flanders Fields

by Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie,

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

 used with permission, attributed to Palmiped at en.wikipedia

Namaste. 

Autumn Finally Arrives

Nature didn't seem to want to let go of summer this year. 

September felt like August, and we had very warm weather well into October. 

But finally, Nature yielded, and Autumn seems to be truly and finally here. 

Here are a few photos we've taken over the past few weeks. 

Abandoned house east of town 

on the ranch where we hunt

The prairie looks flat, doesn't it? But it isn't. 

There are dips, ditches, and holes. Animal burrows and trails.

Deep channels where rain water runs off. 

Yucca plants so big that you have to walk around them.

Its anything but flat, and walking across it in heavy boots, 

carrying hunting gear means you're going to stumble. 

Thinking about how incredibly difficult it must have been for 

pioneers, who walked hundreds of miles over land like this,

makes my back ache in sympathy.

Dan on the Prairie. 

The weather was cool and breezy, 

and the clouds were lofty and gray. 

 

 An out building, or what's left of it.

 

 The Front Range of the Rockies on an autumn afternoon. 

Its probably impossible to tell here, 

but the mountains above the tree line

had already received plenty of snow when this was taken.

A outcropping of rock near Kremmling, Colorado 

(about 9250 feet above sea level)

Downed pine trees, 

and an outcropping of rocks.

A meadow shortly before sunrise near Kremmling

 Day break

The meadow as the sun comes up.

Peaceful meadow.

In the distance, three moose have overnighted in the meadow. 

They had layers of frost in their coats as the sun came up.

 Snow in the foreground, 

a taste of things soon to come.

 Welcome, Autumn!

Namaste

Humanity is for the birds...

I  usually try not to read too much into our pets when they do something which mimics human behaviour. That's known as anthropomorphism - mis-attributing human characteristics to animals or even to non-living things. It can hurt our animal friends when we come to expect them to "think" like us.

This was too much to ignore, though. It was very funny and a little bit scary at the same time.

Congo African Gray 
Used with permission (^)

I couldn't sleep last night, so I stayed up late and ended up watching an episode of a documentary series called Life After People^ on Netflix^. The series is about what the world would look like if humanity ceased to exist. How long it'll take for roads to disappear; how long it will take for animal populations to normalize, how buildings will crumble and fall, etc. All very interesting in a creepy sort of way.

Amazonian parrot

used with permission (^)

One of the people interviewed said that even 100 years after humanity disappeared, the world would still have spoken language thanks to parrots which had been taught to speak. Parrots live a very long time and can pass on learned behaviour (like speech) to other parrots. Showing footage of parrots in flight, the voice-over said that since parrots don't have an evolutionary use for human language, it would eventually disappear.

 Blue and Gold Macaw

used with permission (^)

My bird had started watching from her perch across the room as soon as the parrots first popped onto the screen. Polly is smart enough to recognize other birds and has preferences when it comes to whatever might be on the screen. She's comically self-centered and her knack for observation has allowed her to figure out how to get attention by exploiting things she's seen. She drives the dog nuts by duplicating the sound of the doorbell and meows whenever the cat walks by. She can mimic Dan's sneeze precisely.

Cockatoo

used with permission ^

So it came as only a tiny bit of a shock to hear her laughing manically as soon as the documentary voice-over announced that parrots would be around to speak long after humans are gone.

Apparenty, Polly is really looking forward to the end of human-kind.

 Macaw, possibly a Catalina

used with permission (^)

Let me take a moment to say that none of these birds are my bird. I'm posting pictures of these pretty birds because my bird doesn't like it when you stick a camera in her face and we don't antagonize her needlessly.

My parrot was rescued when her previous owners, who loved her dearly, could no longer keep her. She'd started mutilating and had plucked nearly all of her feathers out due to stress and boredom - her previous owner's lives had changed and they no longer had time for her. She looked like a raw, plucked chicken when we got her, but she looks fine now. It has taken us years and a lot of work to persuade her to stop mutilating herself.

She's still moody, grumpy, and bitey, though. She makes a point of trying to bite anyone who gets too close to her, and her bite causes a lot of damage when she's successful. Some parrots have the strength to break through broom sticks - think of what they could do to a finger.Think of what they could do to a child's hand.

I wanted to add this last bit of information for two reasons:

1. Parrots are a life-long commitment, and that commitment should never be made lightly. The lifespan of some parrots can equal or exceed those of a human.They require a tremendous amount of attention, much like a child. But unlike a child, parrots never outgrow their need for attention.

2. If you're reading this, have educated yourself about parrots, and are considering parrot ownership, please, pretty please, consider adopting a parrot who needs rescuing. They aren't hard to find; Craigslist (^), local shelters, and AvianWeb Adoption resources (^) and good places to start. None of us want to contribute to the serious problem of over-breeding when there are so many parrots who already need "forever homes".Needless to say, never adopt a wild parrot. Many parrots which commonly exist in captivity teeter on the brink of extinction in the wild. The Hyacinth Macaw is one of those:

 

Hyacinth Macaw

used with permission (^)

It would be terrible if this beautiful bird  existed only in captivity. 

Namaste.

Wordless Wednesday (late summer flowers)

Namaste

One of Those Families

When I was little, growing up in southern California in the 1970's, everyone knew at least one of those families. The man across the street, an engineer at Rockwell, referred to them, somewhat derisively, as "hippies". Looking back, I don't think they really were. We all lived in a nice neighborhood, where husbands went to work as engineers at one of the refineries or aircraft manufacturers. Everyone had well-kept lawns and it was safe to walk to school or to go trick-or-treating without adults. Mothers baked for the PTA and dads got together to set off fireworks for the kids at the annual Fourth of July block party. 

Not exactly where people moved to tune in, turn on, or drop out.

Still, in our neighborhood, there were a few families who, in retrospect, seemed a bit advanced (and thus odd) for the time. They ate organic food, and some were even vegetarians (!) They wore a lot of cotton in the days of Carol Brady polyester double knit pant suits. Their kids weren't allowed to play King of the Mountain, or Cowboys & Indians. They played with gender neutral, non-violent, non-competitive toys, whatever those were. They never looked like much fun, to be honest. The rest of us looked on for a moment or two, then went back to playing with our Dream Houses populated with a hoard of too-tan Malibu Barbies and G.I. Joes with the Kung Fu Grip.

 Super-neato Barbie Dream House from the 70's, with 
the elevator and the hot tub

At school, those kids ate odd-looking food at lunchtime and you felt kind of sorry for them, because they never got Twinkies in their lunch boxes. You probably didn't get them often, but they never got them.

The weirdest thing, to us kids, anyway, was that those families never had TV sets. At a time when a large color set was still a very big deal, they didn't even have small black and whites. No one that we knew had cable back then, but we still managed to ingest our share of wonderfully mind-rotting TV. To not do so seemed foreign and unnatural.

Philo T. Farnsworth & family of Fort Wayne, 
basking in the warming glow of their TV
(okay, not really. But if you don't know who Philo T. Farnsworth was, 
go look him up. 
Seriously. Start here^ 
One of those 'important to know' sorts of things.)
National Archives and Records Administration, 

in the public domain (^)

Sunday night automatically meant Wonderful World of Disney.

Scooby Doo and Electra Woman & Dyna Girl were on Saturday mornings. Cartoons were on after school, at least until the Watergate Hearings came along and messed them up. The Merv Griffin Show & Johnny Carson's Tonight Show were on if you were lucky enough to be up late on account of being sick. During the week there was the Dialing for Dollars afternoon movie. The Saturday Afternoon Movie. The Sunday Afternoon Movie. Fright Night with Sinister Seymour ("Now here is your host, the Master of the Macabre, the Epitome of Evil, the most sinister man to crawl across the face of the earth....Seeeeymour!").

When I was a kid, we didn't watch anywhere near the amount of TV people watch today, but not having a TV was simply not an option. Everybody had a TV. Except for those families. What did they do at night? What did they do when they were sick, or were up late, or it was raining outside? I didn't know, and no kid I knew wanted to know, either.

At the beginning of May, we took another step toward becoming one of those families, or at least the 2010 version of them. We already eat the organic food. We're not vegetarians, but we try to eat much lower down on the food chain. I'm now the queen of (preferably organic) all cotton (or at least natural fiber) clothing. We've allowed our children to have the occasional Barbie dolls here and there, but the Barbies in our home have to earn their keep, have a real job, and can't just be fashion models. Right now, I think most are veterinarians. We've  tempered Barbie with other, even tamer dolls and other types of toys, too, including lots of building toys and other ::shudder:: non-competitive, gender neutral toys.

So, on May 1st, we dropped satellite service. It wasn't really a matter of money, although the extra $84.00 every month ($1008.00 a year) is a nice bonus. It was more that we were beginning to feel that we might have better things to do than watch TV. We'd noticed that Clementine's mood and behavior was better, the less TV she watched. And we noticed that even though we spent every evening together after she was in bed, we didn't talk all that much.

We decided to watch only what showed up on over-the-air channels, on the computer (Hulu^, Internet Archive ^), on DVDs borrowed from the local library, and from a Netflix subscription (1 DVD out at a time, plus streaming content, less than $10.00/month).

We've been without satellite for just over 3 months now. We saw the amount of TV we watched drop precipitously right away. We began turning on the TV to watch a specific program, then turning it off when we were done. It no longer stays on with no one watching it, or worse - it doesn't draw us in to watch whatever junk just happens to be on.

 

Artist's conception of what a switched-off 
television set may look like.
From Wikipedia, in the public domain (^)

As a percentage of total TV time, we watch more movies. We sit down as a couple or as a family with a specific film, having discussed what we'll view in advance. We watch more documentaries, which is definitely good, at least compared to other things we might have watched. We watch very few network shows. We don't watch sports, but we never did to start with.

On weekends, the TV stays off most of the time, which is great. As a result, we're spending more time outdoors and on projects. Last weekend we painted with watercolors, and made chalk to draw with. We go outside every day and watch bugs, water our flowers, and enjoy the weather. We were doing that before, but Clementine no longer has to be dragged out the door. We've started playing games again - Dan and I both love to play Scrabble and backgammon.

In the kitchen, while cooking, we've started listening to music and to programs on NPR instead of having the small TV on. Clementine now sometimes listens to classical music, nursery rhymes or stories when she plays.

One thing I've noticed is that if she watches TV, she turns away to play occasionally. When she listens to music or stories, she turns away and devotes much more of her attention to her toys or to whatever she's doing. The music takes second place and leaves her much more engaged than the TV ever did. Her behavior, what wasn't bad before, improved immediately. She's usually much more interested in playing, reading and drawing than in watching TV.

We now go entire days without the TV being on at all, and have spent evenings talking, playing, reading... I guess we're well on our way to becoming one of those families now.

We're not quite here yet, but maybe some day.
by Pablo Gonzalez Vargas,  free photo
 from Morguefile (^)

I don't think we're quite there yet. We still have a TV. I'm not sure if we'll get rid of it, or if that is even our goal. Our goal at the time was to watch less, and for the children to watch less. In that, we've already succeeded. I don't know if "none' is doable, since Dan and I both enjoy movies, and this is the only way we usually get to watch them.

I do know that the saying "less is more" is true in this case and many others. Whether "none is more" remains to be seen but as of right now, I'm happy and proud of what we've accomplished so far.

Yay, us.

Namaste